Taiwanese Christmas, Part III: Forget Opium, This Powder Stuff is Better!

If you've read parts I and II of this Taiwanese Christmas, you already know by now that I have been sick for a few weeks now, and I am sick of being sick.

So a lovely friend was inquiring about my health, and suggested that I go see a Chinese medicine doctor, and recommended her clinic, which was recommended to her by another friend. Hmmm...I'm thinking...Chinese medicine and Jean don't go well together. To me, Chinese medicine means ingesting large quantities of black pellet-sized pills that smell foul, drinking dark potions that taste extra bitter and smell foul, lots of little needles poking you and smelling foul, messy salves made from tree bark and caterpillar eyes that smell foul, and a little bit of witchcraft by a foul-smelling old Chinese man with an untrimmed, bleach-white mustache. However, I've been taking Western medicine and nothing seems to be working. I tell myself I try to be open-minded and give this a try, besides, Taiwan has some of the best Chinese medicine doctors in the world and people have been practicing it for thousands of years.

Ok, so yesterday I went to the clinic recommended by my friend. It was bright and not smelly, very tastefully decorated, and the staff were very courteous. The doctor examines me, asks me about my symptoms, and asks if I've taken Chinese medicine before. I tell her that I haven't. She says the medicine is a little bitter, so she'll add some sugar into it to make it more palatable. I leave with little packets of brown powder which I'm instructed to dissolve in hot water and drink four times a day. Ok, totally manageable.

I sat down for the first dose, dissolving the brown powder in a bowl of hot water. It looked murky, and had a faint herbal smell. I drank it, the first sip tasted a bit foul, not particularly bitter nor sweet, a mild earthy flavor. I finished the remainder with a second sip. It wasn't so bad, actually, tastes vaguely similar to this soup I like.

I've had 3 more doses since, and the flavor gets more palatable each time. It seems to be working, as last night was my first restful night of sleep in what seems like a long time. This morning, I woke up feeling renewed and rejuvenated. I'm still not 100% better, still coughing, but already with less frequency and intensity compared to yesterday. I am hopeful, and keeping my fingers crossed, that I will be mostly back to normal by New Year's Eve.

Taiwanese Christmas, Part II: Dope Fiend

The next day (Christmas Day), I'm on the bus heading over to the hospital, and a litany of "what if" questions plagued my mind - What if I have the swine flu? What if I gave my students the swine flu? Will they quarantine me at the hospital? Will they make me wear a face mask in public for the rest of my life? Will they make me wear a big "S" on my clothes to mark me as a victim of the swine flu? Will my lungs collapse? Did I wait too long to see a doctor, will I need an iron lung? Maybe this is why I've avoided going to the doctor's for so long, there is comfort in ignorance.

My doctor examines me, looks at my chest x-ray, and tells me that my lungs look normal, I just have a bad cold, and that I should drink more water. It's really very good news, I’m not going to die from swine flu, no iron lung, no scarlet letter, no ostracization, just good clean water to flush out my system and wait for the coughing to go away…and yet strangely I felt a bit disappointed, for surely my body aches and heavy coughing are signs of a more serious malady. I walk out of the doctor’s office, and seconds later the nurse calls me over to give me my prescription and bill. Just for good measure, the doctor wrote me a prescription for meds that will help with some of my symptoms.

Now, I've heard that the Taiwanese feel like they need to get a prescription every time they go to the doctor, to make them feel like they've actually seen a doctor. There's a social addiction to getting prescription drugs, and this is no coincidence considering that prescription medications are heavily subsidized under the national health insurance system. I go to pick up my prescription, and am greeted with a small mountain of drugs. Holy moly! I’ve gone to the doctors in the States with a bad cold, and all they do is tell you to take Sudafed (that you can buy over-the-counter), drink plenty of fluids, and get plenty of rest. In Taipei, I feel like I've hit the motherlode - four different prescription drugs including an allergy medication, packets of yellow citrus-flavored flu powder, green tablets, and two bottles of this brown liquid that contains opium.

For two days now, I’ve been drinking the opium mixture from a little measuring cup. I can’t tell how much of my recovery can be attributed to this brown liquid, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t taste very good, there’s a distinct earthy flavor and slight bitterness that cannot be masked by the sugar additives. I also doubt I will be converting my bedroom into an opium den anytime soon. But at least I am feeling a little better than I did yesterday, which is a good sign.

Taiwanese Christmas, Part I: Be Careful What You Wish For

For a few weeks now, I've been whining to whomever has the misfortune of being in my company about having to work on Christmas day. While the Taiwanese love Christmas, and some will even engage in gift and greeting card exchanges, it is still just another working day.

Having grown up in a Christian country, I have grown accustomed to looking forward to the holidays with rapt anticipation driven primarily by the lure of precious days off from school and work. I have never, ever, ever worked on Christmas day. This is the time of year when hordes of expats and English teachers fly back home to be with their families, advertising months in advance for someone to sub for their classes. Having no such elaborate repatriation plans this year, I did not make arrangements for a sub, and so it was that I reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that Christmas Day will be just another working day for me this year. It will be yet another very Taiwanese "first" for me.

So yesterday (Christmas Eve), I woke up in the morning feeling weak, achy, and coughing up a storm, the way I've felt every morning for almost a week now, having caught a bad cold two weeks ago. I've been coughing so much that the muscles on the sides of my abdominals are sore, and I feel a pinch of pain with every cough and every breath. Some days, I wish I could crawl into a hole and curl up into a fetal position, and this was one of them. I like to start these days off with a hot bath, it helps with the muscle aches and puts me in a much better mood. This illness has tested my dedication to the limits, the deep coughing and bodily discomfort has been creeping in gradually for the last two weeks now, and it is miraculous that I haven't called in sick yet. Still, there's something to be said about going to work, it gets me out of the house and forces me to interact with other human beings instead of being locked up in my room feeling anti-social.

When I went into my classroom, I discovered that my students had arrived early and transformed the white markerboard into a holiday mural with colorful stars, Santa in his sleigh, presents, even a Christmas tree with a real candy cane hanging on it! These are some of the sweetest, most creative kids I've had the pleasure to teach, and it put a big smile on my face. Then at the end of my classes, my boss came up to me and told me that he's approved my request to take tomorrow (Christmas Day) off, and that he's arranged for a substitute for me, now go see a doctor and take care of myself. Yay!!! I get my wish after all, but I sure wish it was under better circumstances.